Even if I wanted to be

In my high school yearbook, everyone wrote some little blurb to go along with their picture. To me, much of what most wrote was obvious and juvenile. I get that we were only 17 or 18 and its hard to expect Shakespeare from teenagers. I was never your average teenager in that respect. 

Anyway, I got a lot of response from mine as you might expect, although that was not my intention. I was always different than others. I realized that when I was very young, and I rarely have tried to fight it. I have my moments when I do, but I always come back to the gist of the blurb I wrote, and the poem I wrote below. Here is what I wrote back then, in 1984, and I can say it only took 10 seconds thought to come up with it, because its how I've always felt. 

"I can only be me, who else can I be?"

The poem below is something I wrote this week, as I try to rekindle my creativity, for various beneficial personal reasons. Basically, its just an extension or continuation of what I wrote 35 years ago in my high school yearbook. 

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Even if I wanted to be

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I cant be the person people want me to be

Even if I wanted to be

Sometimes I think I want to be that person

Sometimes I don't know if I do

Sometimes I try

Every time I try

I fail

I know I cant be

Because its not me

I'm not capable of being that person

Its never going to be me

I'm only capable of being who I am

For better or worse

That is who I am

That is what I am

That is what I was meant to be

Even if that isn't good enough

I give what I've got

Its all I've got to give

Even if I wanted to be more

There is no more there to be

I can only be me  

I cant be more than that

So I've quit trying

To be more than I can be