How much is too much. How much is enough?

How much love, do you need
Before you give your love to me
How much time, before it grows
How much love I want to know

What can I do
What can I say
The last thing I want
Is to drive you away
How much love, does it take
How much love for heaven sake

 

In the 70s hit How Much Love  Leo Sayer asks.."how much you love do you need. how much love does it take?"

That song is about love, but the concept of how much/too much is a question many of us ask ourselves. I certainly ask myself that question, and for good reason. How much has always been an issue for me.

 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Uk696jNGA

 

When I was younger it was baseball stats. I had a notebook, more a binder than notebook, and I would record the stats in a very detailed way into that book--of every Montreal Expos player. Current, and up to date, after every game. The Montreal Expos were the passion of my youth. I would also score every game, complete. I learned all those habits from my father. He did that as well at the games. It was part of the experience. I probably wanted to be just like him, as most sons want to be like their fathers until they grow up and end up being like them. Maybe its not that I wanted to be like him, more that I am like him and I am prone to repeat the habits because of simple DNA. Maybe its a bit of both at the same time. I'm pretty close to the stage where that is a reality. I've never not been that way.

When I was a teen I took up golf. That certainly had nothing to do with my father, as he never played golf. But, I practiced like I was on the PGA tour, read every book, watched every video I could, and played every course I could get to and afford. Its certainly something that is just inside me, whether it was learned or inherited.

I recall in University, one of my professors asked me what I did to complete my paper that I turned in. I asked why she wanted to know that. She said she had never had any student do the amount of research that I did for a simple undergrad paper. I remember spending hours in the library on that one, reading all sorts of studies, experiments and newspaper articles, just so I could have as much info as I possibly could. The footnotes at the end of my paper were probably longer than the actual paper was. That is who I am and certainly who I was. The prof probably thought I paid some professional to do it for me. I was freakish about how I had to do it right.

Again, how much is too much, and how much actually results in weaker end performance? When does doing more, or too much, result in poorer results than you would otherwise get?
Just because you can buy all the candy in the store, doesn't mean you should or that its in your best interest to do so. That is a tough lesson to learn. I love candy, literally, and in this case, figuratively.

More work and study is like candy to me, like sugar to a candy freak.

 

 

Knowing your limitations is important. Realizing your maximum potential is what many strive for. I certainly strive for it. Where is the happy medium between those two seemingly polar points?

I am one of those types that wants to do as much as I can, to do it all. That is a trait I inherited from my father, who was the workaholic of all workaholics. That's not to say my father didn't take time to do things he enjoyed, like going to baseball games, watching TV, or many other things. But, when it came to work, enough was never enough. I am certainly prone to that, but, unlike him, I am aware of it early in life and try to keep it in check. Try, but, its a battle.

When it comes to horse racing, I want to master every track, every type of bet. I like a challenge, and I like to solve all the puzzles. That is what drives me. It's also what can destroy me, if I let it. Lately, I have been letting it do that.

Back in the day, that wasn't an issue because it couldn't be.There was no internet access to every track, 24/7, there was no real offtrack betting, and when that started, you had 2 tracks to bet on. Not 100.

My first real experience with it was once when I went to Pittsburgh. I went to the local offtrack shop, and that night, you had 20 screens in front of you and the ability to bet 20 tracks at once. I dabbled in that, and I probably lost every bet. That lesson never registered though. More candy was a good idea at that point. 

 

 

more, more, more,
how do you like it, how do you like it.

 

Part of the problem is that when you start down that road, you are well on the journey and don't want to turn back, even though you are running out of gas. For some tracks, I have gathered so much data, put in so much time learning everything I can and need to know about that track and its players, that I would be tossing that aside if I gave up on it. Even if that is the best thing to do...to give up on those because they don't suit me, for various reasons. It's a bitter pill to take when you know you have to take it.

 

 

 First you need, then you bleed, and when you're on your knees
(That's what you get for falling in love
You get a little but it's never enough
That what you get for falling in love)
Now, this boy's addicted 'cause your kiss is the drug
your live is like bad medicine

bad medicine is what I need.

Now, its not a total loss. Each time I've put the work in, I've learned something I can use even if I don't play that specific track anymore. It has made me better and smarter overall. The education is valuable when I take that and apply it elsewhere.

So, the happy medium part. I will still work hard, but there is only so much work I'm willing to do. I like to play also, and the play part has suffered because of the work part. I am mindful of that, and have figured out where the balance is for me. It means tossing away much of the work I've done, and only going forward with what fits into my lifestyle. I want to solve the puzzles, but I realize I cannot solve every puzzle, if it means that is all I have time for. There is more to life than just solving puzzles.

When you can do a vast majority of things well--like I can, you don't need to limit yourself to just doing one thing very well and all the time. I fell into that trap, but I have found my way to pull myself out.

 

 

 I fell into a burning ring of fire,
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns,
The ring of fire, the ring of fire.

 

So, its down to 2 tracks for me, and just a few types of bets. I will live with missing scores I can make at other tracks and certain types of bets. Since I don't need the money that bad, I am giving up some money making for some time to do other things I get equal enjoyment out of.

If that goes well, and I can add a 3rd in the spring that I have always wanted to try and conquer, I will do that. But, that's it. 

 

One thing I knew early on, many years ago when I started playing the horses is that it can consume you if you let it do that. I forget that from time to time, and literally have to be exhausted before the hammer hits me on the head. That point has been reached. I also like writing. That is something else I do well and enjoy.
I have started writing more. Well, that's not true. I have been writing lots all along. I have hundreds of pretty good pieces that I just haven't finished. I love to write, but to do it well, you have to put a lot of energy into it. That also means finishing them. I just haven't finished many pieces, because by the end of the day, I was just too spent to do that. There is only so much you to go around, and the more you put into one thing, the less you have to put into others. Its a finite amount of time and energy you get to play with. That's a lesson my father didn't learn until very late in life, and something he expressed when we went out to dinner shortly before he passed away. Another older man I used to work with named Abe told me if I kept working the way I do, like I do, I would burn out. Abe told me that more than 20 years ago. My father told me what he did about 10 years ago. I didn't listen to either of them. That is my nature.

That is a valuable lesson for both horseplayers, as well as in in life. You have to decide how much goes to one thing, and how much to another. Or better said, how much less one gets if another is to get more. Horseplayers, as a general rule, are not good at taking advice of others. We always figure we are smarter and know better. I am the poster child in some ways for that.

 

 

 

Love is the drug and I need to score
Showing out, showing out,
hit and run Boy meets girl
where the beat goes on
Stitched up tight, can't shake free
Love is the drug, got a hook on me
catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of

 

Knowing myself well, I know the temptation to stray and play more tracks will come again. It always does. Its like a very addictive drug to me. But I am very mindful of not falling back into that trap now. That is really half the battle when you are trying to beat this type of problem. Its only half though. Actually achieving it is the harder half. I'm halfway there now. I'm very mindful. This candy freak is now at least walking down the health food aisle. Not that I don't see the candy aisle in the distance. I know its there and it calls my name like the devil on my shoulder when the angel is silent.

How much is too much? How much is enough? Too much is too much when enough is enough. That's when.

 

 

If you've had enough
Don't put up with his stuff
Don't you do it
If you've had your fill
Get the check pay the bill
You can do it

Tell him to just get out
Nothing left to talk about
Pack his raincoat show him out
Just look him in the eyes and simply shout

Enough is enough is enough
I can't go on, I can't go on, no more no
Enough is enough, is enough
I want him out, I want him out that door now

In this case, the him is the person I don't want to be, the one I am also prone to be.

 

Note I used many love songs out of context in this blog to emphasize the metaphor of working too hard, just like loving too hard. Its what was out there to use, so I utilized it. Working hard is very much like loving too hard, it can hurt you more than help you if you let it.

And so, just one more, without the lyrics posted, just to hammer home the point.

 

Note the title on the page...Hell To Pay.

 

The next vice might be getting rid of using so many songs and lyrics in my blogs and posts to make a point. But that is a task for another day. One day at a time.